Growing up, the scariest thing in my life had been the things I knew I was capable of doing. I asked God daily why he would bless me with all those gitfs when he knew I wouldn’t use all of them. In my opinion, they were too much. The funny thing is that, while people strived to be extraordinary, I strived to be ordinary.
I consciously did not learn in class, lest I get better grades than I already was. The day my music director would praise me for a song sang well at rehearsals, that was the day I lost my voice and never got to sing. Casting my mind back, I have been mediocre at basically everything, not because I couldn’t do it but because I was scared of being excellent at them.
I realised a year ago as I started my self discovery journey that my life was empty with nothing to pride myself with, not that I didn’t have anything in me but I had not worked on any of the gifts and potentials I had. I realised I had been afraid to dream, not to even consider dreaming big.
I had to begin doing something productive, I knew that, but the question was, “where do I begin”?
Which of all the billion things I knew I was capable of doing was worth cultivating? The decision was not easy and I couldn’t decifer which to begin with so I had to go back to my source, God, for directions and answers.
It became clear that writing was what I had to begin my ministry with. God has an amazing way of revealing to you the things you ought to do. This is where I pause and tell you that, God is interested in everything about you and it might seem like a cliche but he actually has a purpose for your life and he is ready to help you find it if you seek him to help you out with it.
Of all the things I could do, writing was the one I had grown to hate because becoming a Christian meant I couldn’t write the erotic explicit stories I loved and that made me lose every desire to write.
Somehow everybody that came my way pushed me towards writing. I was added to a writer’s page by a friend and I exited a hundred times because I felt inadequate when I saw all the masterpieces the group members were creating. I thank God they added me back everytime I left and I thank God for everyone who believed in me.
When I got to the point I couldn’t resist the calling to be a writer and share my life, (don’t be too surprised, I approach everything I have to do as a calling. It gives me a sense of duty) I accepted and begun.
My friend suggested blogging as a way to begin and the idea of putting myself out there was scary but for once I allowed myself to start something.
3 months into blogging, I get people sliding into my dm to tell me how they can relate to something I shared and I get them to open up to me about issues they are dealing with. I tear up sometimes because as little as it may look, allowing myself to start writing has thought me so much and has blessed me in ways I didn’t know was possible. One important lesson I have learnt is to start right were you are.
I am sharing this today to encourage someone to START. I am here in this new year to tell you to pursue that dream, to start that business, to cultivate that talent you have, just start.
Darling, there is no better way to begin than to begin. You never know until you try. It might look very little but start and be amazed at how great God will let it turn out to be. The fear never goes away but do it anyway, it certainly will be worth it.
Flee a life of mediocracy. Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might. Ecclesiastes 9:10.
I can’t tell you the joy I feel when I write something and a real human can actually relate to it. It is so fulfilling.
My year will be good because I am going to start everything I know it’s time to do. I know I might not succeed in all but I will definitely try all.
I will try and be as consistent with Afiyasays this year as I can be. I promise to share as the spirit leads me and although sometimes I get scared with the kind of stuff I am led to share, I promise I will because I know you need it.
I plan to get personal this year since I will be doing so many new stuff, I would share, especially my self love/discovery journey.
I know this year will be a great year for us.
Leave in the comment session any topic you would love me to talk about, especially mental health related issues. I would be glad to share my experiences as well as others.
I appreciate you in my life. I appreciate you reading, liking and commenting. I promise it will get better and bigger.
I love you. I love you. I lovvvvvveeeee you.
Happy New Year guys.