I got a notification from wordpress a while ago. It read; “Happy Anniversary with WordPress.com. You registered on wordpress.com 4 years ago. Thanks for flying with us. Keep up the good blogging.” I only saw it today and it brought some light and hope to rather gloomy day.
I was having a good day until I decided to take a nap and I was overcome with sadness and despair when I woke up. I wanted to talk to someone but I didn’t want to talk about anything. Worse, I didn’t get anyone. I thought of blogging though I had not decided on exactly what to share, I just wanted an outlet and that is how I saw the notification.
Why mention this? I wanted to repeat for the million time that “it is the little things.”. It took a little thing as a notification to make a bad day better. More importantly, I allowed the little thing to make me better. Light exist in the universe. It shines better on some days and becomes just a flicker on other days. Maybe you may not see it today because it is not so glaring but be assured that it there. Somewhere behind the wall of gloom, there is light. Sometimes allow the cracks to linger, that make be the light’s passage.
Blogging has been a fun journey for me but it has definitely not been void of difficult moments. It has been one of the many battles that I have had to fight. Fighting with how much is too much, fighting with my insecurity of not being a good writer, fighting with giving it up completely. It has been 3 years of showing up afraid, scared, vunerable,weak,excited,motivated, heartbroken and defeated. Yes, 3 years because I spent a whole year deciding whether I wanted to write or not or even if I had anything good to write.
It was quite a pleasant surprise that I am still here. I know I can get better, I know I will get better but today I am celebrating the fact that, I am still here. It has been a beautiful journey with you all and I hope we grow more.
I wish I could make a lot of promises but I won’t. I will only pray that I get better at showing up. Thank you so much for being here. I could not have done this without you.
Happy anniversary to us!!!!! We did it.