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Why Single?


Hi lovelies,
How are you? Happy New month y’all. I hope you get all the love and happiness this month has to offer.
Guys, I am trying to be consistent with posting at least once every week so I am gonna share what is on my mind although I didn’t plan this post. It’s actually a little personal but it’s fine. I am cool talking about it with y’all.

It’s February and it’s the “month of love”. I have been angry almost the whole week with people flooding my dm with Valentine packages. I don’t know how that is even annoying but I guess they are constant reminders that I am single.

Yes, I am 20 plus many years old(lol) and I am single. I have been single for almost my whole life( have dated for a very short while once and have fallen in love with a couple of men but I have been mostly single.)

I love being single but sometimes, just sometimes, it gets unbearable. Like when you get these kinda videos when Valentine is approaching,lol. You get reminded that you are, LONELY!!!!

[wpvideo vRZf18d2 data-temp-aztec-id=”5e1ac472-0178-4bac-8c95-b0ac8d468552″]

Hehe! So funny?. But,yeah you are single.

Why am I still single?

I am waiting!

Funny? A friend gave a hearty laugh to this answer when he asked me this question.

“What do you mean by you are waiting? See, love is a choice and a decision. When you see what you like, you go for it. Ain’t nothing like a man made for me. God won’t bring you no man, open up and accept one of the dudes around that you vibe with.”

I got all defensive when he said all that and gave him quotes and facts and logics but deep inside I was broken. What if he was right? What if I was doing it all wrong? What if I was letting my one chance of a good husband go in my attempt to “Wait on God”.

I purposed in my heart not to date until I met someone God was ok with me dating and I knew was right. It has being amazing being single and free, lol. The non-commitment, the do-whatever-you-want-moments, its been fun, but it has not been easy, not in the least. Especially since I have ever been in love. Sometimes I feel the struggle is because I miss the feeling of being in love and being loved and not necessarily the need for a man (but a man will offer that love, right?)

Society has a way of letting you question everything, including your faith in God. The logic they give is so right it seems just foolish not to believe theirs instead. But do you think God will lie to you? Do you think God will not give you the husband or wife he ordained for you? Do you believe God ordained someone for you?
I believe. I know that he cares about that one too and he will sort me out on that too.

It gets lonely, it gets saddening (when you really want someone to talk to or be vunerable to), it gets frustrating ( when you catch feelings for someone and you really wanna get into a relationship) and it gets tiring ( why not just settle already?).

“God please, can you just let us not fall in love with people who ain’t gonna be our husbands? It hurts!???.” Will he listen?, I ain’t sure,because emotions are emotions. Well!,hmmm.

I am speaking to my self as much as I am speaking to you, it is worth the wait!. It is best to wait and do it right the first time.
We ain’t too young to be trying and “erroring”, it has to end in marriage and it gotta be right.
I know it is not gonna be easy with social media flashing all the lovey dovey stuff all over especially with Valentine around the corner but I bet it would be worth the wait.

Let’s get something worthwhile doing and enjoy our season of singlehood while we wait and pray for grace to continue in this season and not soil our purity. It’s gonna be worth it.

Are you single? How are you coping with the season of singlehood? What are your struggles? Any tips and bits you have learnt? Kindly share.

I love you dearies. I pray it ends in praise for us.

With love,

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  1. Monique

    You remember the day we danced with Jamie Grace’s dong at the hostel?
    Maybe you need to do it again in your room
    “Stay single, team single and it ain’t cos I don’t wanna mingle. One day i’ll be riding with babe but today I’ll be singing with my girls, single with my ladies…”

    1. Afiya

      Hahahhaha…. how did I not think of that? Hehe. You are life saver for reminding me. So that will be my jam for the whole of February.

      Team single ??????.

      Thanks for reading bae.

  2. oseik14

    Afiya … I loved it. Thank you. Let’s dig into this, it’s often believed that there’s a somebody specifically for everybody; that is a big lie. Yes a lie. The will of God is all men be saved and come to the understanding of His truth, all others are derivatives. Anything else we seek in life becomes a choice; career, marriage, cars, house and many others. These stuffs are not really a purpose of heaven for us. You choose it. Narrowing it to singleness than marriage. We ought to be virtuous, learning, preparing, believing, hoping and be everything good for the good. Sometimes our expectations can get sour nevertheless we need to reprove ourselves, recover (recovering; some can very hard and tiring but there’s hope) and move on. If the opportunity come from the blue and we find someone, choice fully let’s be determined to make it right and let love be love with pride. Honestly the world is not a better place because of many lies. We believe many or some of them hence we become foolish, make mistakes and regret. Hate ourselves, crying empty ties and refuse to grow and repent. We won’t be better, until we accept the raw package of good. This good is truth of the Bible and Love. If you find yourself single it’s good yeah very good to be good and prepare for the good. Be everything excellent, hopeful and good. Learn, take counsel, good counsel and prepare when it’s happens choice fully don’t let it be a regret. Life is short. Life is happening once. Too much selfishness is killing us? I’m sorry I talked plenty err. I pray it’s helps.

    1. Afiya

      Hehehe. A big lie? I can understand if you say that there is no specific person for anyone but do you think God will be ok with you dating or marrying anyone? I am not after a man God made for me(like just one one in the whole world God made for only me), I am after someone God approves of. If God approves of him,he will be just right,hence meant to be/ordained (do you get it?)….

      Anyway I love your exposition and the lot of advise in there. Thanks for sharing. And thank you for reading.

      1. oseik14

        Yes Afiya … Then it becomes a choice because you approve of it, believe that God, family and friends will honour it. With the blessings of God you become proud of your choice. So I still stubbornly stand there’s no specific anybody anywhere for us. Lolx. With your faith, your belief and expectations you just go for what you want and please anyone reading remember to invite me to your wedding or call me to plan the wedding for you please I’m an event planner.(0278143513) Thank you Afiya for the opportunity to use your space. I’ll be here always. Love yah!??

        1. Afiya

          Love you too. So,I agree about the choice factor but that which God approves of. Hehe.
          Ok. You are welcome into this space anytime. Thanks for the support. You will definitely get an invite.

  3. joseyphina

    Very relatable. I believe it shall get better. Incan only hope.

    1. Afiya

      Yeah…. I strongly believe so too. It will surely get better.
      Thanks for reading Jo. Appreciated.

  4. Amanda Cade

    I’m single at age 40, and that’s perfectly fine with me. I was in relationships of various lengths for a lot of my 20s, and when I wasn’t dating someone I was often restless and frustrated, thinking I needed to find the next prospect asap. I can completely relate to how you’re feeling.
    Right around the time I turned 30, it finally hit me that I was happier being single than being in a relationship that wasn’t right. Shortly after that, I reached the point of realizing that I’m happy being single, period. I liked my life, and when I devoted the time I used to spend looking for a relationship to pursing things that made me happy, I started liking my life even more.
    I’m not against dating, relationships, or marriage, but I’m fine without them. I’m focused on living the right life, and that may (or may not) include the right person someday. If not, that’s ok.
    During the Valentine’s Day season, I focus on the love that’s in my life, and there’s a lot of it (just not the romantic kind). I express my love and gratitude to my family and friends, and make a special effort to show them how important they are to me. So if you’re looking for advice, I’d say take back the season, ignore the messages that make you doubt your choices, spread kindness, and celebrate love in all its forms.

    1. Afiya

      Woooow. God bless Amanda. That is such an encouragement. I will definitely make the most of the season. Thanks for reading and sharing. I really appreciate that. God bless you.

      1. oseik14

        Awesome Amanda … Thank you… Staying single is no sin or taboo. There are many best things in life and one of them is singleness.

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