Dear Daughter,
If you ever get to read this, rejoice with me. I stayed long enough to have you.
Of all the people I could talk to, I chose to talk to you.
I know it might be meaningless to others but I hope and pray that this finds you and gives you hope for tomorrow.
If you are fortunate to come and meet WhatsApp, I pray this silly quote pops up on a status, “Life is short, don’t kill yourself. Your time will come”. As silly as it may seem, it’s true. I am holding on by the thread.
I have not had the best of mental health. I pray you come and meet me in a good space but just in case you ever struggle, just find encouragement that in 2019 your mother’s mental health was ailing and she was struggling but she overcame by the power of the lamb (in faith).
Know that her resolve got broken by the very people she loves and she hit rock bottom but did not stay there.
Today, I am crying about a loved one calling me dumb when they are the very ones who say they believe in me. I am sad that those who are supposed to know better made me feel like I am unworthy. I will be fine. Just be reminded and rest in that fact that you are fearfully and wonderfully made and nothing,absolutely nothing can change that fact.
My words may not be kind always, the world will give you narratives everyday but I pray you are self sufficient in the knowledge that you are unique and you are special and every level of worthy .
I pray you never struggle with your identity. You are loved and of God and no man should tell you or make you feel otherwise.
I pray that life is kind to you.
I promise that I will try as much as possible to heal from any hurt I have so that I will not be the reason you will need healing.
Never feel ashamed of the state of your mental health. Seek counsel if ever you struggle. Be bold enough to accept that you are not ok. Do not forget God, don’t forget to pray. He is a faithful companion in trying times.
I pray that you find me better and not bitter.
As I write, I thought of the things I will want us to have in common. I thought of traits I would wish you inherit from me.
Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I want you as you are, as different and unique as you can be. Let no one despise you for being different. Even if I forget, let me not make you feel that for a moment, you need to be different.
I will try my best to teach you morals and teach you to be better but I pray I only propel you to become who God wants you and made you to be.
I have not thought of a name for you yet but know that I love you and thoughts of you today brought joy into my heart.
I love you and can’t wait to have you in my arms.
Your mother,
Afiya