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The only time I am not thinking is, never!
I think about God, life, school, church, everything, and my first love.

I see him in everything and everywhere.

In every man wearing tuxedo because those were his favorites. In any man wearing African prints because I loved to force him into those. I see him right by me every time I walk by the roadside because he always insisted to be the one nearest to the street. I see him in every beautiful eye that looks down at me because he was the most beautiful I had ever seen.

My first love, to be finally able to call him that, I feel like John in the womb of Elizabeth leaping for Joy at the presence of Mary. That’s should be short-lived though because I have to get around calling him my “ex”.
Expired? Is that what happened? What expired? Our love?
No, he will remain my first love and never my ex. My first love!

Why ain’t we together?
He got into the boat too fast! I had to check the weather forecast and learn how to swim just in case. He got off the boat when I was ready to get on board.
My heart smiles though because I see him on the dock. My boat is never too far to see him.
I loved him because while he desperately needed me in the boat he helped me learn in every possible way he can.

He said he will text me anytime he misses me. I don’t look forward to it but when it comes I feel his love.
I love the way he loves.
I love that he teaches me that love doesn’t always have to be bitter.
For the first time in many years, I am telling myself it’s ok to miss him. Today, I thought of him and smiled.
Thank you, my first love, for teaching me love in its purest form.
I will definitely love another but you will always be a man I loved.

“Whenever you miss someone, allow yourself. Send him some light and love every time you think of him then drop it.”

Hey Love,
you came to mind today. For today and the decades ahead you will sneak your way into my mind, I will smile at the thought of you.

Always,
A.M