Once again, I saw the man pace in the corridor of the operation room. I hesitated in passing infront of him because I knew he would rush to my side and ask me for an update. I didn’t bear any good news, it was actally worse than the first we relayed to him. I thank God it was not my job to relay such news.
His wife was sent into the operation room to remove a fibroid she had. She was bleeding although she still had a few days left till delivery. The doctors believed it was the fibroid causing the bleeding so she was sent into the operation room to get it removed. We discovered it was actually her womb that had ruptured and the baby was already dead. We were trying to save the life of the mother now.
When I gathered the courage to walk pass the man, he run to me as expected. I looked into his eyes and they were very familiar. They resembled the eyes of my mother everytime she stood by my sick bed. I told him I could not say much and that he should wait for the doctors. I really wanted to ask how he was feeling but I was certain a slap would be a justifiable answer to it so instead, I let out the popular mantra, “it is well”.
I went to an office to pick up a document I had been waiting for for months. The Secretary asked me to wait for a while before it was my turn to receive the document I went in for. When I walked out of the office, my body suddenly felt so hot I could bearly breathe. I had been very calm up until that point but I lost it all that very minute. I sat on the floor and started to cry. I remembered the man, I remembered my mom. They were uncertain of the future like I was at the moment. Anticipation of what the results could be made me feel what I was feeling. I was able to call it by name, ANXIETY.
That document could change my future. It contained a result I desperately needed to be positive.
In the space of 20 minutes I had to wait, I felt something I can’t find words to describe yet. I know however that, that was anxiety.
When the Secretary called me back in, I prayed and remembered my favourite bible verse, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose”. Romans 8:28 (KJV)
Instantly I became as calm as a sleeping baby. When she gave me the result, it was positive. I was emotionless, I didn’t smile, I didn’t cry, nothing. She kept repeating instructions hoping they would let reality hit me. She was expecting a display of happiness as all the others had. I smiled at last and left her office. I was in awe of what had just happened.
I was reading Max Lucado’s book, anxious for nothing and I could not fully relate to it. I guess God wanted me to know just how it felt. Now I know the look in my mom’s eye and that of the man by name, It’s called, anxiety.
Have you ever been anxious about anything? How did you feel? Are you anxious about something? How are you feeling?I can’t say I know how you feel, I would not dare say that. I can only say I am so sorry for how you are feeling.
Is it a family member on the hospital bed whose prognosis is too bad you can’t bring yourself to hope for any good? Is it a marriage at the verge of collapsing? Is it a pending exam or an interview that could change your life? What are you anxious about?
I can’t say much about this but I know this for sure. Prayer works!
There is absolutely nothing prayer can not do. There is nothing God can not do.
So please, I am here today to say to you, Pray. Pray and keep on trusting. Trust in the sovereignty of the most high God. Believe that the one you serve is capable. God is working and he will let all things work together for your good.
Leave a comment if you are familiar with the feeling of anxiety and tell me how you felt and how you dealt with it.
God be with you, always.
Ps. I would like you to read Max Lucado’s book, anxious for nothing.
It can be a great help to you if you are dealing with anxiety.
Till next time, be safe.
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Pray… I like the fact that we are admonished to pray when it feels hardest to pray. When anxiety strikes, one basically wants to get a solution ASAP. And that quest seems to blind us to the reality that whatever it is, if it was in our domain to salvage it, we wouldn’t even be that anxious. Hence, it is best to seek the hand of God and Be CALM. Good work, Afiya.
Yeah. God is all we’ve got. Thank you so much for reading, it means a lot. Visit soon.
This felt real. Thank you Afiya for sharing?????
Thanks for reading sis. It was real sha…
Your writing is really beautiful. Thanks for sharing your gift with the world. Please let me add this:
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7).
Needed addition!!!. God bless you. Thanks for reading dearie.
Next time yo see ANXIETY split him.. you’ll see he maakes no meaning.. even grammatically . An xiety instead of A xiety ?????
?????????. I will paaaa. That is wisdom right there ?.
Thanks for reading dear.
Very true Afiya. I mean Anxiety can sometimes hit you hard in the face. I tend to get anxious a lot in life…yhh but what i often do it to try my best and talk to friends who lifts me up and aslo yhh i pray sometimes…not always n my bad…and sometimes i just let myself feel anxious while i keep saying to myself ” All is well”
Wow. That’s…… hehe, I don’t know the adjective to use, lol. Thanks for sharing sis. I know it will get better. It’s beautiful that you can share with friends. I will certainly that if I ever get anxious.
Thanks for reading sis.