I have probably told this story to almost every friend that has gotten close to me. It was one of the most painful yet lesson-filled expreince I had in my life in Ola girls.
I was “sexily” and “beautifully” rocking my “tomboyish self ” not caring about anyone. Not even those who labelled me a lesbian( I still can’t think far) because of it. Right from first year through to third year, I was miss independent enjoying being “me”.
Then I met this dude. (Did i say met? We never met. I think I should rather say my path crossed with this dude’s ). I can’t recall the events that led us to each other but we started talking and writing letters to each other. He was from our alaya school.
Charley, the guy changed sister la.
Our school invited theirs for a program and he promised he would come so we meet.
You should have seen me the night before. I stitched my dress to be a little shorter ( I had to keep it long because I had plans of joining the Roman sisters) and ironed it in pleats. My pleats were so sharp it could cut you and I affirmed it by folding it neatly under my bed. I slept with power and might that night and kept my body as rigid as possible lest I ruined my pleats I created.
I woke up before 4:00am the next day. Something the siren has miserably failed to get me to do for two years and counting.
I did makeup for the first time. (Those times it was powder and tick layered lipshine).
I was the first to get to the auditorium. I bet everyone noticed something was wrong. Like, Ella? Seated before a program begun?.
I sat gracefully as I tried to recall all the points I had studied from the book “how to be a lady”. Was so glad I finally got to practice bits of it.
After a long wait their bus arrived and I run to meet him only to be told by some guys he couldn’t make it. I was crushed but some guys who introduced themselves as his friends kept me company. I had an awesome time, although he didn’t show up.
We talked that night and his friend’s kept singing my praise. I was so happy. That would let the guy do the needful early. We had just few months to complete school. I was wishing he would propose then so that I could do “I am thinking about it” for just a short while and accept him after school.
After we talked that night, he ceased calling or texting me. I offered to do everything that needed to be done to the phone like charging and stuff just so I didn’t miss his call.
A few days before my E-maths paper I heard the owner of the phone talking to someone and they were making plans for the future together. I was happy for her until I heard his voice from the other side. It was Kwame.
I tried to figure what I did to him but I couldn’t get any reason. The thing pained me hard. You can guess my e- maths results from here. The guy was the show stopper.
Honestly I liked him and I was broken by what he did.

We completed school and I moved on. I met a whole new calibre of persons that were intriguing and life was beautiful. I made so many friends with beautiful minds. Just when I thought he was part of my history, he resurfaced.
Can you guess his reason he didn’t talk to me again after the program?

His friends told him I was very friendly but was not beautiful and I didn’t fit his handsome self.
He had broken up with my friend and came back crying literally. It was a mistake he said, he shouldn’t have listened to his friends.
On the other hand, I bless God each day and will do till eternity for letting him listen to his friends.
After him and the lesson I got, I met amazingly wonderful people.
Today, nothing would make me want to be with the guy he is now and I wonder if anything would have changed in our lives if we started a relationship. I wouldn’t trade my life now for anything and I am so grateful to God for being a good father enough to take him away from me although painfully.

Never beat yourself up about anyone who wants to leave your life. Let them go. Maybe genuinely, they are done with their mission in your life and you wouldn’t need them in the next phase of your life.

Ladies, if the man says he doesn’t want you anymore or wants someone else,let him go. Just use your alone time to work on yourself. Identify your mistakes and work towards correcting them. Don’t let any man make you feel less than you are. You are beautiful and worth it, if he doesn’t see it, that’s ok. The one who ought to see will see.
Men, let her go if she wants to leave and watch the space for the miracle that will replace her.


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