She was on fire as she spoke. I was thrilled and marvelled at her sense of confidence. She seemed to have everything together, I was so excited I agreed to hang out with her.
I found her rather amazing and attempted to know more about her by asking her questions. I shifted myself into a more comfortable position in anticipation of another episode of lecture (I believe she would be a wonderful lecturer because she spoke a lot but still had my attention every second of it and had me drooling for more. What a showcase of knowledge and wisdom. Well maybe the lecturer bit is a little exaggerated but she is a good conversationalist, that you can believe)
She started talking about herself and got slower in her speech in an attempt to answer my question “what are you doing currently?…..”
I got alarmed and sat upright. She said a lot then came to an abrupt end and smiled exposing her beautifully arranged enamels, stuck out her tongue in a teasing manner and burst into laughter.
It’s was surprising and confusing yet pleasant. I waited patiently till she finished laughing then she said ” I am sorry love( yeah, she is a sweetheart), it’s just funny trying to put words together. Basically, I don’t know. To be honest with you, I don’t know. I have a plan for my life and I know what I want to do but honestly things are not really how I envisioned and I am at sea at the moment, but you know what, I love every bit of my journey now because I have the Lord to trust and my life is quite an intriguing adventure now.
It’s okay if I don’t know because someone does. I don’t know but God knows and he is stirring the course of my life just how he wants it to be. I am safe in my ignorance because someone higher than I knows just what to do”.
I saw through her as she spoke and I envied the calm and peace that shown in her eyes as she professed her ignorance.
At a point in my life I had to answer a lot of questions with the phrase “I don’t know ” and along the line, it got very uncomfortable and embarrassing, How unserious and unfocused could I be?
After the chat with Delali, I felt a peace for the first time in ages. Her words kept resonating, ” it’s ok if you don’t know because God does and he has got you.”
Are you in your season of ” I don’t know”? Has that been you answer to questions like, “what are you doing after school?”, what do you want to be in future? ” “When are you getting married?” , “When are you getting a job?” , etc?
Afiya says, it’s ok.
We have begun the last month of the first quarter of the year and you still have not figured things out yet? Darling, It’s ok. You don’t have to fret. Relax and do your best. It’s going to be just fine because God got you.
If there is anything you have to know, that should be your relationship status with God. If you know he has got you, babe, you can relax and watch him do what he does best in your life, watch him work wonders.
My forever wise friend Nesta said something that sat with me. He said, ” it’s ok if you do not know the exact one thing you want to do in life, it only means that you are not limited in life and that gives you the potential to be so much more”. Just be diligence and do your best.
Happy New month dearest.
Rest in God’s embrace and be led. I pray for you happiness and peace. I know it’s gonna be awesome. I love you.
Enjoy the journey ahead.
The depression series on Afiyasays begins this March. Watch the space for more details.
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Till next time,