Grief, loss, and healing.
I wonder how much easier life would be if we had no grief, no sorrow, and no loss. I guess that is the beauty and glory that makes heaven the wonder it is, I can only imagine.
I can only imagine a land filled with only laughter and happiness. How sweet would it be to never have to feel the pain of your heart shattering and breaking and tearing into pieces, I can only imagine.
I always tell this joke (well it’s not actually a joke, it’s actually a wish) that when I get to star in a movie, all I want is a crying scene because I have years of tears tucked away.
I have known pain, I have experienced loss, I have grieved and I allow myself to accept the possibility of healing.
We all have experienced loss and grief in one way or the other. Maybe like me, it has to do with losing friendships that were dear and being betrayed by people you trusted or you may have lost someone to death or probably lost money or business. Our losses are different but I am sure it is safe to say that they all hurt and wound us in a way that needs healing. I have been on a journey of healing and if anyone asked me to talk about grief, loss, and healing, I would contribute these two cents:
On grief, loss, and healing.
I believe the one and only true way to healing is seeing the existence of the wound that needs treatment. That is to say that you have to come to terms with your loss. Denial is often the first step people adopt in managing the grief. Unfortunately, most people tend to get stuck at this stage, maybe as a defense mechanism or but they never get to come to terms with their loss.
Allow yourself to grieve.
Grief is defined as very great sadness, especially at the death of someone. As humans, we grieve over things we lose, relationships, businesses, loved ones, etc. In other to heal, however, we must be able to have a healthy grieving process.
read: MORE ON GRIEF.
The seven stages involved in the grieving process are:
- Shock and Denial
- Guilt and Pain
- Anger and Bargaining
- Depression, Reflection, and Loneliness
- The Upward Turn
- Reconstruction and Working Through
- Acceptance and Hope.
These are no gospel, neither are they the only ways to grieve. Everyone grieves differently. Some people may follow in lineal order while others may experience some and not others, or repeat some. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, the most important thing is to allow yourself to grieve, whatever that looks like for you. It’s an individual process.
Don’t be an island, accept help.
Often times, we are tempted to grieve all alone because we assume people will not understand what we are going through. This might be true but if we are willing to accept help, we can allow people in and make them understand what we are going through. It helps to have comfort and know that you are not alone. Do not deprive yourself of love and hope as you grieve.
Talk about it.
Whether it’s to a therapist or a loved one or a total stranger, talk about it. I have found that as I talk about my experiences, they hurt less and the burden of it feels lighter. I usually write about it and share and it feels so relieving like a burden has been lifted. You don’t have to rush it though. Take your time and only do it when you are ready.
Know that healing takes time.
Your wounded heart can heal but it will take time and it’s okay. Like any physical wound, with the right treatment (this is to say that there is an unhealthy way to grieve) it will heal even though it will take some time. Be rest assured that morning will come and you will smile again.
Don’t forget that God loves you and cares for you.
It is very easy for you to feel that God has forsaken you and feel that God does not care for you. Let this post be a reminder that he cares for you and that he loves you. In his word, he has said that he is close to the heart broken. He is ever neigh and he will comfort you. He loves you, even in times like this, especially in times like these.
READ ALSO:THE ACT OF LETTING GO.
I would love to know your thoughts on grief, loss and healing please leave a comment in the comment session, T for thanks.
Till next time,